The Hunter Valley

Now for some wine tips from a critic who knows.
Ratings:
* Pretty ordinary
** No worries
*** I'm stoked
**** Magic

Case study #1 Lindemans
1) 2008 HV Semillon
Light and zingy. Would have with crayfish. Rating: **
2) 1999 Sparkling Shiraz
Mmm, fizzy wizzy. Scent: Christmas Day 11am
Taste: liquorice with mince pie overtones. ***
3) 1999 HV Shiraz
Scent:^ dominant. Texture: velvet
Compliment with rump steak weighing at least 0.8kg. **
4) Porphry Rouge (dessert)
Colour: friendly magenta. Evokes: Spring blossoms, ice poles
Taste: forest fruit frenzy. Bloody nice. ****
5) Penfolds 10yr Bluestone Tawny
Nah. Your gran's trifle. Don't like. Never liked. *

Case study #2 McGuigans
1) Genus 4 Semillon
Scent: mould. Taste: chlorine. Not happening. **
2) BL Sparkling Shiraz
Scent: boisterous
Taste: James Bond in his heyday^^ Citrus hints. ****
3) VS Shiraz
Spicy. Evokes straw in summer. Not bitter enough for me. **
4) PR Muscat
Scent: dusky pink. Taste: putrid violet. No. *

Q. Why can you buy Penfolds' wine at Lindemans' cellar door?
A. Because both wineries are owned by the Fosters Group along with a gerzillion others.
You can think you're safe for a while in the cosy world of wineries, but then you are forced to admit that even here one person controls everything.

^ The term 'bouquet' is sometimes used by lesser critics.
^^Sean Connery of course.