Washington

North to the 'Evergreen State,' home of juicy fruits and Microsoft.
Greyhound buses: you get what you pay for, company included. Last night a fracas broke out on board over the seating but the driver didn't seem too concerned. 'Folks if you have any problems I can generally be found t'ord the front of the vehicle' he drawled. This morning we actually broke down somewhere in Oregon. 'Dude this sucks!' yelled a greasy youth pleasantly. We may investigate other forms of transport for the way back down.
We alighted in gorgeous Seattle - what excitement! But the way to our hostel was by no means clear. I felt the time had come for Richard to relieve me of my 'One who asks for Directions' role. Suddenly Richard was nowhere to be seen.
Currently looking up interesting things to do and see: several travellers have gushed 'you must visit the first ever Starbucks cafe.' Why on Earth would I want to do that? I suppose they're just trying to be helpful

Magic city

In love...with...San Francisco...must move on soon...but how?
We had our concerns about how awkward English people would usually fit here during the Christmas period, but the city made room.
What thrills! I love a good island. When I see one I immediately get the urge to stand on it. All my dreams came true with Alcatraz.
Right now we're at Pacific Tradewinds Hostel near Chinatown (no longer with the tour group). I'm attempting to make the little TV in the corner talk. It dawns on me that years of Richard ruling over the remote control have left me completely unable to use televisions (my they've moved on). This is the least of my worries however; he's insisting that tomorrow we cycle to Muir Woods but he forgets that he's dealing with someone who classes cycling as 'extreme sports.'

Mission

It's about 21:30. I'm in Pacific Standard Time, don't you know. This afternoon, on to San Francisco and the roads go bounce, bounce, bounce. Roaming the streets with a backpack on gives you a special Vagrant status and you attract various colourful characters - drug dealers, for example, and people who say things like, 'keep walkin' bro, go that extra mile - cause you know what you'll find? Serenity, man.' Note: must keep indoors after dark
Quick further note on Los Angeles: the beaches are excellent but only when there are 0 people. Maximise this city's potential by avoiding it

Need wine country

I am completely, to use the correct phrase, 'freaking out.' Why is there no tea here? What are those things that look like polos but taste like the worst thing imaginable? And don't even get me started on the chocolate.
Most of all- where is our money going? It seems we are obliged to tip anything that moves- and inanimate objects. Last night I was in tears in our motel room, throwing all kinds of nonsensical comments in Richard's direction. Luckily he seemed quite unconcerned about the issue and said, 'calm down Doris*, everything's going to be OK.'
Afterthought: they're good at bins here though. And that beach at the front of LA is nice.

*'Dorises' = a blanket term for 'women.'

Grand Canyon

This one's for you Dad

Las Vegas

Translates as 'The Meadows' because it's an oasis (cough) in the desert.
Summary: disgusting

Tacos, beans & ?

And now to Monument Valley, home of the Navajo and for me a love-hate experience.
There is nothing I repeat nothing attractive or romantic about camping, roughing it and so on. Don't believe the hype. As dusk fell I could be found rocking in the bitter cold, head in hands, thinking yes we get to sleep out in the heart of the Valley and yes the moon is rising in a mystical way above those ghostly spires-
...but _ _ _ _ this. I want a hot shower. All I needed was some friendly wine to numb the pain but oh no, even this wasn't allowed - all alcohol being banned from the reservation.
(brighter voice) The area itself is outstanding. Film director John Ford is said to have spent many hours here, transfixed. Each 'monument' has its own name and story to tell. I believe
that ghastly rock band, Bon Jovi, made one of their videos atop one of them.
'Superstition Pathway' is where one can enjoy storybook-perfect echo effects. Simply stand and yelp / wail as appropriate.

Pumpernickel

This week on my holidays I have been in Texas, at a national park called 'Big Bend.' I like it because there are cactuses.
One member of the Group appears to be falling apart but this is just what happens
In any case the hiking has sorted out all of our minds even if it is painful. At the end of one gruelling trek I encountered someone who was visibly a hiking nut. He said, 'where've y'all been?' I said, to Emory Peak, whereby he leaned forward with a slightly crazed expression and whispered, 'so... Did you head up past Black Bear Boulder and round Deer Creek - or did you just take the Cougar Pass?' I said, 'Um, I just followed the signs' and hobbled away with as much dignity as I could.
Here I'd like to give it up for Richard, without whom I would not have been able to approach any sort of tent or indeed reach the top of that wretched Peak.
Please note the views from above-mentioned Peak will do more for your head than any therapist ever could

Houston, we have a problem

As surreal a start to the day as any. Up at 05:00 as always, I crept downstairs to do Internet things. I then heard odd scuffling noises and to my horror an array of shady hostel-dwellers began emerging from the gloom, coughing and leering.
I recoiled and made for a cosy nook by the fire, and was just embarking on a sketch of a huge, glorious cat lying there, when an almighty 'Oh f_ _ _' sounded from outside.
Somebody has driven into our trailer and sort of, re-arranged it.
Do avoid Houston International Hostel if possible.

Familiarity breeds contempt

How is it that some people can be full of charm and happy and raucous, night after night? Why wasn't I made the same? Last night Richard implored me to come and be normal; to play some cards, for example, whilst chortling loudly - but I was far too busy muttering and burrowing myself away under some sheets.

Some facts on New Orleans for you: nicknamed 'The City That Care Forgot' it lies within the Mississippi Delta and is built mainly on sand and silt. Due to human intervention the river now flows too quickly, preventing the natural build-up of said silt, and the surrounding area (though vast) is losing land at a rate of a football pitch every 45 minutes.

Hurricane Katrina was not directly responsible for the havoc wreaked in 2005; it was the many faulty flood defences. Had they been driven 24ft into the ground (instead of just 12 as a cost-cutting measure) they would have held fast. As it was, they simply broke apart under the strain. Of the vast numbers of people displaced by the storm some 200,000 are believed still absent today.

On a lighter note the French Quarter is now full of life - delicious seedy bars, oyster perches, general oddities, and such.

Richard and I have enjoyed some romance in said Quarter. A fellow Korean traveller remarked, 'I see you hold hands - for first time! HA, HA.'

More excitement to follow.

Hell yeah

Goodbye Music City. I liked the hostel lady because she spiked my tea with Jack Daniels. I'm not sleeping too good and wondered did she have any further alcoholic recipes for night-time wellbeing? She looked at Richard and said, 'jus' wear her out, buddy.'
Blush count: 17

Memphis = Blues Capital. There is a large waterway called the 'Mississippi.' Interestingly, this city's namesake is in Egypt, which is why there is an enormous glittering pyramid at the gateway. FYI Memphis is also the hardwood lumber capital of the world. There is a dwelling called 'Graceland' somewhere around here too ( I just don't like Elvis. I longed to vandalise the statue of him at the Visitor Centre and there are others who must feel the same).
May I recommend the Gibson Guitar factory.
We have walked with our feet 10 feet off the Beale etc and would have had a romantic walk along the waterside had it not been for R's obsession with taking pictures of boring barges / himself (in various postions) by that bloody pyramid.
Also today: catfish

Nashville, Tennessee

Known as 'the Athens of The South' for its dedication to education and the Arts.
In 1941 Nashville was granted the USA's first FM radio licence.
Elvis (yawn) recorded some 200 songs here.

American-style curry and beer

We have become part of a band of 13 road-trippers, all in their 20s and 30s and pleasant / sane at time of writing. Richard with his endless knowledge and loud voice / authoritative hair has already established himself as a key member of the Group. I lack any such features, and also have a tendency to shun people in groups above 4 - so may need to work on my position a little
In all we were on the road for 11 hours yesterday. En route we encountered Walmart, the Tesco of the United States. It is like Tesco, only supersized, and saccharine-sweet - until you reach the
Gun Section.
I rose early today and decided to hike out alone into the Appalachians and set a standard for the others; maybe even fight some bears.
A wall of ice hit me as I opened the door. I marched 50 yards out into the snow, said 'ho hum,' turned and went back inside.
For further information on this area please refer to notes of other great traveller, Bill Bryson.

Washington, DC (run, Forrest)

The Nation's Capital.
Did You Know: Washington, DC is not a part of any state; it's just a sort of, place. And: The Washington Monument is also referred to as 'Triple Nickel' because a nickel = 5 cents and the Monument is 555ft high (or thereabouts).
The night-time 'Illumination Tour' of the city's Important Things is well worth it: particularly poignant and atmospheric, even if you're only in it for the film locations.
I involuntarily shut down at the Lincoln Memorial due to the bitter cold.
Sorry, Lincoln Memorial.

Enough already

Last night we 'hung' with some 'dudes' at the Ding Dong bar off 105th St as recommended by a European hostel worker ('zer music it is underground und dark'). After one drink I was keen to slink away but R was busy discussing ways to take over the world with a Nigerian called Abi. I chimed in, 'can't we all just co-exist instead of trying to dominate each other all the time?'
'Communist,' said Richard. I retreated into the shadows.
This morning we pondered over how best to spend our remaining hours in New York.
'Sweetheart, I've got it!' cried an earwigging lady. 'All the shops open at 4am the day after Thanksgiving!' Richard said, 'want to give it a whirl?' I said I'd rather eat broken glass. We plumped for drifting around Central Park and watching the Thanksgiving Parade. Camping adventures next.
Camping. Me + camping.
Hmmm.

Somebody get me some frickin' donuts

Here we are in New York, population 9m, or 8.2 depending on source
I loathe flying and was glad to reach the USA.
Once at JFK we were immediately flummoxed by the new transport system. Determined not to look vulnerable, we struck out into the crowd purposefully, pointing sagely at random signs and objects.
Where we were actually going was anybody's guess.
We eventually reached Central Park and our hostel room, which I disliked at once.
'Get used to it,' growled Richard, whereupon I began hurling the contents of my backpack around the room, princess-like, and demanding that we 'go home.'
All forgotten today however - we've walked the entire length of Manhattan. We boarded the Staten Island Ferry and saw the Statue of Liberty (a pleasing shade of bluey-turquoise). At Times Square I piped, 'look Richard, there's the debt counter - for our holiday so far.'
We also ascended a vast structure called the 'Empire State Building.' It was nice.
To be continued

E-asy now

We leave tomorrow. Mood has switched to #D2: Quagmire.
Need a treat to calm me down. Just remembered our flights are confirmed via e-vouchers. What's an e-voucher? Where did I put the e-vouchers? I appeal to R but he's flustered about something of his own, and advises me to 'get out of his face.' Oh God. Should I have had that beer? Where's my passport? And what about the ... [fade out] ...

Imbibe early morning

I've had a number of leaving events in recent days, which I've no intention of tiring you with, but I would just like to remark on Friday's: the Work Colleague's Outing. I don't know how others felt, but I thought it was excellent.

The reason is this: here in England it is customary to head out in packs at night, drink odd-tasting juices and produce a dazzling array of inappropriate remarks (whilst swaying a little) and then go home. This is all very well provided that one is wearing the right 'hat' for the occasion - and for women this can be problematic.

A woman is like a vehicle with many gears (for example, a tractor); she has a level of mood to suit every occasion. The design flaw is a lack of control over which goes where - and when. Tonight I was lucky: I got allocated personality #F: Smooth Terrain.

Thanks, Mother Nature.

Mum Envy

Today: my last jab-visit to the nurse. I've liked going to see the nurse. There's a height detector on the wall by the entrance, just like the ones you used to get in school. I've been sidling up to it longingly after each session, itching to say, 'can you measure me please?' And today I thought: I'm leaving on Tuesday - why not live a little? Damn it, I'll ask. I'm 5'11."
After this intrigue I headed for the Clipper (bar) with my dear Mother. She looked alarmingly good in her Gap jeans, complete with stylish accessories as endorsed by Gok Wan etc. etc. My Mum looks better than me, I thought. How has this come about?
Back at home we've been experimenting with our backpacks. Upon dragging them out of the cupboard there sprung the immediate question: who was having which? Both of us lunged for the blue one. A fight was clearly imminent, but being the smaller person I had to back down. Green one it is - half of which is now filled with anti-malaria pills.
Hmm.

Keeping up appearances

Nearly time to go and I feel I may not be up to speed. Should I be concerned about my lack of shoes? How many cents are there in a dollar? What is a dollar? I keep attempting to tick off this and that during my lunch hour, but, like Basil Fawlty trying to listen to his classical music, it doesn't work out.
Some farewell drinks were had in Taunton on Saturday. What a lovely array of old books there were in that pub! And I managed to get some shut-eye as well. I must have been well gone - various items fell off me as I rose to return to the bar. A trio of glossy students sniggered nearby. I haughtily glided past them, before realising I had laddered my tights.
Glued? More soon.

Glower, glower

I am appalled, disgusted, incensed etc. etc. I loathe Diamond car insurance. Why does everyone have to outsource their call centre facilities? How hard is it to cancel your policy? I couldn't understand them. They couldn't understand me. They redeemed themselves somewhat by playing early Elton John when they put me on hold. Even so. They haven't heard the last of this

Right. I'm off for a glass of Leffe.

By the way, the picture shows the view from where I live.

Welcome, Sophie

I've had one or two to drink, so I'm just going to talk at random. It's Bonfire Night, which doesn't involve anything I want to partake in, so I find myself scowling into my wine and thinking, whatever happened to excited, sparkler-loving Laura? Grumble. She saw sense, that's what. Frown.
Less than 3 weeks until we go. How has that happened?
I wonder who'll cater for those mangey cats we've got lodging in the shed. They appear to have migrated at random from nearby hills. R likes them there because they control the rat population; always a worry on farms. I'm not keen on the little deviants - they look so bedraggled though and I haven't the heart to let them starve
Someone at work became a father today.
It's happening all around us. Richard and I appear to be on some sort of shrinking ice floe. Soon we'll be completely marooned on our little island. I sometimes get edgy. Should we be following suit? ...But no. I've never felt even slightly maternal. Shrug.
Also today: we ('we' she says) have a new president, in the form of Barrack Obama: Democrat, 47 years of age, no. 44 should you wish to know. Of all the presidential races to date, the tallest candidate has always won. Fact.

Riesling

A small number of weeks now. Jap B episode #2 to contend with this afternoon.
And I've only just recovered from being forced to go to B&Q on Monday. Does anyone else get motion sickness when entering large shopping places? I ventured into an Ikea once, in 2001. Never again.
So anyway, I'm attempting to get kitted out with travelling essentials, but no one in the shops seems overly keen to help. Apparently you can buy some things in shops, but mainly you're supposed to get what you need online now.
Right, time to inspect Richard's DIY skills. (proud voice) He's been doing up a bathroom, you know.

Wine required

I've just an injection for Japanese B Encephalitis. It was the worst I've had. Luckily I've just seen a trade van - company name 'Get Plastered' - so I feel a bit better.

Jabber

I'm visiting the nurse tomorrow, to get some vaccinations probably. They cost around £ 100 each. There are wonderful descriptions of how you would die in the event of each illness, next to the price. Someone must be quids in.
Richard advises that there is a worldwide shortage of certain vaccines at present. Richard is the sort of person who has endless knowledge of current affairs. You could send him on some errand in a remote forest for two days - wearing ear plugs - and he'll still come back and be able to tell you where the FTSE closed that day, who won the Turner Prize etc. It's quite bizarre.
Note: he managed to eat a giant fry-up this morning despite having complained for the last week of being ill, more ill than he's ever been and so on.
I tell you there'll be none of this nonsense abroad, or I'll be pushing him off that Grand Canyon faster than you can say 'man flu.'

Gore-tex?

Just been for a walk in these new Merrells. Leaflet says Merrell is 'dedicated to the outdoor journey of discovery - the search for meaning, friendship...' Sounds like a load of twoddle to me.
I suspect the salesman saw me coming.
They do feel rather good however.

Pinot Grigio

Should I really be going?

Wine and fish

Welcome. My name is Laura and I am going on some holidays. And you can come too! I'd heard that 'blogging' (or 'keeping a web log' to use the correct term) is the latest way to harp on as if you're the only person in existence - so I thought, why not? Friends and family can always do with some torture. It's character-building - like going camping for 7 days in the rain, or being forced to view your boss's 900 holiday snaps indoors on a sunny afternoon.
My departure date is quite far off, but I suspect it will take some time for me to grasp the idea of blogging, so I have wisely allowed myself some practice-time - for example, 7 weeks.
Ah, here comes some wine. Must go.