Snapper Jack

We've recently emerged from a primitive hut deep in the rainforest (well, it would be more accurate to say 'an airy cabin in a clearing with hot and cold running water' but this doesn't read so well) and headed East to the Coromandel Peninsula. On arrival my first instinct was to seal myself away in our room for a while but the owner of our lodgings invited me on a guided tour of her house, carefully explaining each colour scheme, the cushion choices, why she and Bob disagree over the patio and so on. I have never understood why people do this.
The sun beats down without mercy. I'm determined not to return from my holidays looking like these overtanned people who strut back to work with smug faces, and I have to say 'don't you look good?' but I'm thinking no you don't look good, you like someone's taken a blowtorch to your face
In other news I've a bee in my bonnet because I haven't changed into a different person yet. That's what's meant to happen when you travel, I've read it in books. It's been two months now and nothing's happened. I'm thinking of asking for my money back.

Picture: Richard is standing beneath the largest known kauri tree - 51.5m high with a 13.8m girth. The oldest known kauri, not far from this one, is thought to be around 4,000 years old. In typical human fashion all but 4% of New Zealand's kauri forests have been felled.